i am much like a lamp; hollowed out with a man living inside me. though, if you rub my belly you won’t find a genie, no, you’ll find an overcast of daddy issues and just the right amount of self deprecating jokes. you won’t find a genie,
but you will find a tidal wave of suppressed memories, but don’t worry you can grab onto a piece of my broken heart and ride it out. veins pumped to the brim with self hatred. lungs filled with a air of those who disarmed my words; breathing in and out their toxicities.


“Dear Penn Manor”

Dear Penn Manor,

Thanks for the friends,

I wouldn’t have them

Without you.


Thanks for the early mornings

And the late nights

With work, people, and thoughts

you gave me


I’ll never forget how you

Helped me learn to be

A team player,

A hard worker,

And an adult.


From football games,

To bring your tractor

To school day,

I will never forget you


See ya around,


Ballad about 9/11


This is a story about the day

That the world would suddenly change

The event that made the people say

New York will never be the same


It was a normal afternoon

Not a thing seemed strange

But they don’t know what’s coming soon

The day that New York would change


A plane just passing by

Seemed awfully low

They’re screaming “Oh my”

Soon everything would blow


Crashing in with fire and rage

The tower went up in big red flames

The lives of people of many age

Would soon never be the same


Soon enough another one comes too

And crashes right into the second tower

After a long fight the first tower blew

And all the debris became a shower


Life after life just wasting away

Firefighters trying their best to save

No one has a word to say

As the fiery fury onward raves


As the second tower starts to tumble

People are frantically running about

Inside the ground you can feel a rumble

Sadly enough, time has run out


People are silent as the sirens blare

No one is quite sure what to do

Everyone has just stopped and stared

As the last of the two towers blew


As the dust and debris settles

And the crowds start to swarm

People are gathered around to meddle

To see how this disaster formed


Theory after theory

Lie after lie

People start to feel weary

As the tears dry from their eyes


Broken families and broken hearts

Their loved ones in the remains

As their mind and their heart parts

Their lives will never be the same


Body after body pulled from what’s left

Many people still screaming

Lifting the debris with all their heft

The tears from their eyes still streaming


Day after day

night after night

Many people still say

That everyday is a new fight


Long after the falling

People still mourn

Their loved ones no longer calling

A generation of fighters was born


I am Adventurous and Thoughtful

I wonder about what life holds.

I hear the sound of horses galloping.

I see the smiling sun shine on the river.

I want to be able to replay my dreams.

I am adventurous and thoughtful.

I pretend that life is a memory.

I feel that we are all created equal.

I touch God’s beautiful creatures.

I worry about the people across the ocean.

I cry about the things I haven’t done.

I am adventures and thoughtful.

I understand no one is perfect.

I say “live life to the fullest”.

I dream about life with no bullying.

I try to be the best I can be.

I hope to never regret what I have done.

I am adventures and thoughtful.  



The Delicate Dancing Shoes

As I wait backstage my heart pounds in fear.

If I mess up, will I loose my job?

Will I lose my pride?

Will I lose every ounce of confidence left in my body?

“Dont mess up”, I try to tell myself.

It’s almost my cue.

The numbers 5, 6, 7, and 8 rolling through my brain.

I hear the last drumbeat and my entrance begins.

On top of my box I go and bourree to my spot.

The millions of eyes staring right at me.

This is the moment I have been waiting for all my life.

Why live in fear?

When you can live your life doing what you love.

~Nicole Alexakos

Where I’m From

I am from the hourglass, from time

I am from the earth, Mysterious; foreign

I am from the thorn, the weed of the ground

I am from the chaos, the competition of life

From Mary to Joseph from God

I am from the liars, the cheaters

I’m from sayings, “life doesn’t owe you anything”

I’m from a belief to “trust no one”

I am from behind the curtain in the temple

From the corner of the sanctuary

I am from darkness, from the bitterness

From dates and prunes

I’m from the alcoholics and the drug addicts, the swindlers

I’m from the forgotten memory of a time of serenity

I’m from hatred, from the thoughts of suicide that burn in the mind

I’m from the haunted house, I am the thoughts of the ghosts

I’m from the father that left, the mother that abused

I am from the arguments and the lies

I am a dark stormy sea

Desperately trying to drown her crew

I am from the rain, the quells

I am from all things people avoid

But I am still me.


This is Me

People see me as Etsub,

A girl like a flower that bloom.

Knows what she wants and go out to get it;

These opinions became a habit.

I tell myself every day, you are perfect;

All these lies I didn’t see the effect.

No one would believe,

If I told them the real me…


I am a girl that is lost trying to find her way around,

Still searching for a common ground.

When I say I got it just disappears,

One after another all these years.

They tell me Etsub you are amazing;

I tell them that it is not surprising.

I have experienced all facets of life,

I can possibly think of.

I try to fly freely like a dove,

Cause all this thing I need to get rid of,

But always fall short,

Guilt, sorrow, anger, sadness,

I try to leave all in his presence…

~Estub Tolossa

Turkish World Part 1


In 1936, the world was beginning to fall into shambles. Hitler, a failed Austrian painter, has risen to power in the now called German Reich. The Great Depression is affecting all nations in trade and citizen living. The Soviet Union is breaking as Joseph Stalin is unable to get the idea of Trotzky out of the minds of his people and officials. In Asia, Japan is angering many nations including, but not limited to: China, Soviet Union, French Vietnam, Mongolia, Australia, and more. In the Balkans, Greece has forced Bulgaria to have a limited Military, Yugoslavia is having issues with Italy, and Romania is surrounded by enemies.

All of this set the mood for all the nations and their leaders. It set a changing mood where each nation would have an effect on each other whether they know it or not.

With all this confusion, this gave one man the total power and cover-up he needed to take over the world. Agent-Isaac became leader of Turkey through the power of he said so… Whether or not this was better or not for Turkey remains to be seen. Continue reading


Big dreams, well educated, a millionaire.

Life is like an unread book.

Forever in heart, broke me again.

Journey thou soul, she fall again.

Stand back up, and live again.

What worse is, you’ll never know.

You only live once you die.

Your mistakes make who you are.


Love Lost

I feel the blood through my veins

Heart pulsating as I think

Think of him

His heart is calm

He is everything, I am nothing

He is gone, but not from my thoughts

Never thinks of me the way I think of him

My body is numb from my emotions

He is gone.

Moved on, was I not good enough?

Memories can never be forgotten

But new ones can be made.


Music Is

Music is the sound of birds chirping on an early spring morning.

Music is the creak of a door opening in an old house.

Music is the laughter coming from little children playing around the neighborhood.

Music is the wind ruffling the leaves of the trees.

Music is the scratching of a pencil on paper.

Music is the hum of crickets on a late summer night.

Music is the tapping of fingers on a keyboard.

Music is the buzzing of a bee.

Music is the crackle of a campfire.

Music is the sizzle of bacon being cooked up in a skillet.

Music is the steady “tick-tock” of a clock hanging on the wall.

Music is the rumble of thunder during a storm.

Music is the obnoxious beeping of an alarm clock way too early in the morning.

Music is the chugging of a train making it’s way to who-knows-where

Music is beautiful, inspiring, fun, and creative.

Music is whatever you want it to be.

Whether we realize it or not, music is always present. It can be found in even the simplest of things, and our world would be dramatically different without it.

~Hannah Shenk 


Love is not isolation from society because “that’s your person.”

Love is not expecting favors.

Love is not giving your all to get nothing in return.

Love is not receiving someone’s all and giving nothing in return.

Love is not endless jealousy and insecurity.

Love is not constant happiness followed by no pain.

Love is not an “I love you” text after disrespect

Love is knowing.

Love is respecting.

Love is appreciating.

Love is silence.

Love is trust.

Love is not knowing what to expect.

Love is a smile at the thought.