Skyrim Retirement Letter

From all the hours were have spent together

Exploring a world known to many others

From all the draugers we have encountered

In the Berkshires we’ve spelunked

All the Nord armor we have collected

On our quest to Daedric

Finding all the Dragon priests

And collecting their masks

Killing dragons

To acquire stronger shouts

The merchants we’ve bought from

And cities we are thanes in

While we leveled up our speech, destruction, and alchemy

It was you Dragonborn

Who made the land of Skyrim

Oh so special


Retirement Letter

Dear Penn Manor,

You were one hell of a run, a dive into the deep end, and a drug I have never experienced before. You lead me to loyal friends and collided me with snitches that got their stitches. You put me through social embarrassment while faking a laugh along the way. You were a movie that has reached its long and unexpected needing. You gave me the experience of unforgettable knowledge that I will pass on to someone of my own some day. I will appreciate you from a distance far and unknown without ever looking back. From the depths of my lungs, you will be the last puff of smoke that leaves my body.

Goodbye Penn Manor High School,


My Children’s 6 Word Memoirs to Me at My Funeral.

He was a spirit lifter father.


He taught me the good deeds.


He never let you down ever.


He was there when needed most.


Through the ups and downs times.


His name was Ty Jacob Erisman.


The best father for four children.


He changed all of our lives greatly.


Goodbye old man who loved us.


We will love and miss you.


Forever and ever and ever eternity.


From the Erisman kids.

~Ty Erisman

A Collection of Random Thoughts

                    “Always expect the worst out of things                     

                                 so that in                                   

           case the worst       

           occurs, you were

           ready for it.

           If the worst

            doesn’t occur,

           then you will be

           surprised and

            happy when the

           situation turned

out to be better than you thought it would.”



        something doesn’t go the

   way it was                    planned

   or how                        somebody wanted

  it to, someone they know will say, “get

over it, life isn’t fair”. But if that is said to

 everyone, shouldn’t        that mean that life

 isn’t fair to anyone?        If life isn’t fair to

 anyone, everybody        gets the some

unfairness.. Doesn’t        this mea that life is fair?.”


“If you are   supposed to           treat people

the way you    want to be        treated, then

why do people    harm each        other? Does

that mean        they want           to be harmed

back?  If you      ever want          to harm someone

in any way        shape or              form whether        

it is physically,      socially,        mentally, spiritually

, or emotionally,       think that   you are asking

for the same         thing to be  done to you.”


It’s All The Same

Guide the hand to a new fate,

And do not tell him of what you truly are,

Just smile at him, looking,

Away, from his face.


Listen to the voice that came from the hate,

And do not help him, only give him a taste,

Of who you desire, par,

Himself, neglected by you.


Guide his smile, to truly; who looks,

Yet, contrive, he is yours,

And he undermines by your fascination; benign,

To taste, the hand upon your face.


Simply untrue, undeserving, undesirable.

Away, from himself, neglect the hate,

Do not tell; the fate, so new; your heart

Won’t ever break.


Listen to the lies, you’re making up; lies.

Of given is the par, undermine who looks,

Telling not of a soul, to be under mine,

Is what of yours?


Guide to fascinate, to lay upon, undeserving of,

Your face, benign, you truly know,

Who you, are; not to be himself, he loves. He loves.

Simply, who he truly, undermines,

Who of what is your soul, not to understand,

Look now away, from yourself, smile,

Neglect the lies, not to love; not to hate.


Listen to the facade, voice, inside,

You won’t ever misapprehend,

Lies won’t ever break,

–Ever what is, undesirable won’t, how do you?


Guide to help him, do not,

Give to contrive to taste to know,

To understand your soul,

Suffice to desire the hate.


Simply, himself; as fate, smiles,

Fascinate the facade, obey,

Look, you’re mine, under love will never



Guide to what, he is not, true, you; to not stand,

Under; the hate, helps him; you

Do not, under what, stand upon the hand,

Fate lies at your, face.


Listen, you’re who you love, he loves,

The benign tastes the, heart; obeys the soul;

Contrive to suffice the untrue, neglect

–What once was the hand of fate.


Simply par, not mine, understand him,

Tell not the truth, of you are, who looks?

Fascinate the soul, he loves, but he hates. He hates, you.

Guide: to understand what it takes,

To stay awake, away, from the fate,

Breaking the heart; Undermining distaste, in himself,

Truly, doesn’t tell him you’re fascinated; the facade.


Simply: how he looks at your face,

Suffice the hate, desire the hate, you know

He will never neglect your lies, remained untrue,

Taking his hand, to the voice inside.


Listen: the soul gives into for what?

Contrive, you won’t ever misapprehend,

To par his smile, to you, and only you,

He loved you; you, to break his heart.


Look, it’s all the same.



i am much like a lamp; hollowed out with a man living inside me. though, if you rub my belly you won’t find a genie, no, you’ll find an overcast of daddy issues and just the right amount of self deprecating jokes. you won’t find a genie,
but you will find a tidal wave of suppressed memories, but don’t worry you can grab onto a piece of my broken heart and ride it out. veins pumped to the brim with self hatred. lungs filled with a air of those who disarmed my words; breathing in and out their toxicities.


“Dear Penn Manor”

Dear Penn Manor,

Thanks for the friends,

I wouldn’t have them

Without you.


Thanks for the early mornings

And the late nights

With work, people, and thoughts

you gave me


I’ll never forget how you

Helped me learn to be

A team player,

A hard worker,

And an adult.


From football games,

To bring your tractor

To school day,

I will never forget you


See ya around,


This is Me

People see me as Etsub,

A girl like a flower that bloom.

Knows what she wants and go out to get it;

These opinions became a habit.

I tell myself every day, you are perfect;

All these lies I didn’t see the effect.

No one would believe,

If I told them the real me…


I am a girl that is lost trying to find her way around,

Still searching for a common ground.

When I say I got it just disappears,

One after another all these years.

They tell me Etsub you are amazing;

I tell them that it is not surprising.

I have experienced all facets of life,

I can possibly think of.

I try to fly freely like a dove,

Cause all this thing I need to get rid of,

But always fall short,

Guilt, sorrow, anger, sadness,

I try to leave all in his presence…

~Estub Tolossa


Big dreams, well educated, a millionaire.

Life is like an unread book.

Forever in heart, broke me again.

Journey thou soul, she fall again.

Stand back up, and live again.

What worse is, you’ll never know.

You only live once you die.

Your mistakes make who you are.


Love Lost

I feel the blood through my veins

Heart pulsating as I think

Think of him

His heart is calm

He is everything, I am nothing

He is gone, but not from my thoughts

Never thinks of me the way I think of him

My body is numb from my emotions

He is gone.

Moved on, was I not good enough?

Memories can never be forgotten

But new ones can be made.



Love is not isolation from society because “that’s your person.”

Love is not expecting favors.

Love is not giving your all to get nothing in return.

Love is not receiving someone’s all and giving nothing in return.

Love is not endless jealousy and insecurity.

Love is not constant happiness followed by no pain.

Love is not an “I love you” text after disrespect

Love is knowing.

Love is respecting.

Love is appreciating.

Love is silence.

Love is trust.

Love is not knowing what to expect.

Love is a smile at the thought.


From a Storm Grew a Rose

Trees and flowers dancing in the wind, leaves blown away

Sun hidden behind clouds and shining within

What a lovely day

Bees buzzing, birds chirping, singing their enchanting song

Listening to the sound of nature, I can do it all day long


Rain trickling down the window and thunder filling the air

Behind dark cloud I didn’t know  

The sun still shone back there

As lightening strikes I stand steadfast and start to feel bliss

I remember that after this storm something will grow from this


Through each day comes different feelings

They all work together to make

The flowers that grow, the insects below, the fruit that we take

So even though the storm is raging and you just want it to go

The sun nourishes, the storm waters so a seedling to blossom and grow


Take the Time to Breathe

I hope you take the time to get away every once in awhile

Because happiness can come from the slightest smile

I hope you take the time to lose yourself in a book

Or in the woods behind your home even just to look

I hope you take the time to ride your bike in the sunset

Looking at the beauty of nature and that is it

I hope you take the time to sit on your front steps and count cars passing by

Or lay on your roof and gaze up at the twinkling night sky

I hope you take the time to cruise along backroads with the windows down

Listening to nothing but the rushing wind sounds

I hope you take the time to be alone

Enjoy the time with yourself and turn off your phone


corrupted conscience.

head throbs
heart pounds
as your voice chases me around
running me out of my own body
telling me i’m not quite good enough
if i would only wear more makeup and brush my hair once in awhile

i could be pretty
but i could use some work
my waist slims but so does my confidence
i beg myself to stop giving in to your voice
but it chases me into the darkness
i’ve run so far away from my body now that i can’t find a way back in
your voice is home now and i wait for your approval
i wait to be good enough
i wait for my head to stop throbbing
i wait for my heart to stop beating


Parte del Alma Mía

Madre, parte del alma mía

La amiga intimísima

La maestra más sabia

Me has enseñado todo lo que yo conozco.


Eres una torre alta y fuerte

Descansas en un fundamento sólido

Tu paciencia y fe son faros

Luces que me advierten.


Abuela, parte del alma mía

La artista más diestra

La cocinera más fantástica

Tu cultura me crió.


Eres un libro de cuentos

Tus talentos sobrepasan que tú comprendes

Cada día me sorprendes

Con la fuente de experiencias que tú tienes.


Queridas mujeres, partes del alma mía

Me hicieron quien yo soy hoy en día

Cuando ambas hayan pasado

Ustedes estarán en mi alma todavía.


Never to Be

My reality is a full world without meaning,

Convoluted as a feeling most demeaning;

Darkness dwells inside of me,

Overflowing with crippling fear only I, can see.


Incinerating my love for you,

Betrayed and broken into pieces no one can fix.

Giving into the remorse which possesses my soul,

Slowly, dying, as an insufferable virtue.


Befallen, the mentality I devised,

Naturally, the epitome of your desires

Are what I despise, seeing through every last lie;

How could you blame me, in any such way?

Maybe you misinterpreted the evident

Hundreds of Thousands of Words that I say?!


Candidly, my absent mind floats over your intelligence;

The disappointment, concealed in a drought of disarray,

Cannot compare to the torment leaving me astray.

I was truly meant to die, even if the body’s still alive.


Demoralized into a reclamation of song,

I am forced to continue on,

Enriched paths are divided, misleading,

This elicit predicament is condoned

Into a world fully, supposedly, composed to relieve, and yet;

You’ve fallen into darkness your mind owns.


The evolutionary truth has been unveiled,

Revealing a moral that I have failed.

Nothing I could ever do will prevail.


Forever; your hatred have always been verisimilitude,

Your weakness is your own ineptitude.

The absence I yield, molded into an indescribable bane,

Cannot prove the extremities of disdain;

The presence of inexplicable deficiency,

Blends within your integrity.

Into the misapprehension you call, meaning.


And I,

The similar complexity of imperfection–

Disregarded by the likes of you.

Failing to see, what you stand for is far less

Than what I could ever believe.


My mentality is a full world of parasitic anomalies,

Undermined of breathing,

Darkness dwells within my dreams,

Never expressing, the ineffable sentiment, that is me, and so;

I truly,

Was never Meant To Be.


Summer of 2017

You were a candy coated sin, a wickedness ignored,
A rose bush in a garden, and yet I dismissed the thornes,
The kiss of life, with the hands of death
Who awakened the heart inside my very chest
You were a walk in wonderland on calm spring morning
And candy house used for luring
But the clock must strike midnight, even Alice must grow
And the warm spring changes to a cold, bloody snow
So what goes on that you don’t know?
What goes on since you had to go

My hair falls out, i lay there dead on the floor
I bang my head on the cold beige walls, and scream at the breaking glass door
I’m stripped of my clothes like i was stripped of my pride,
Yes, this is what goes on since you left me to die.
It’s cold with no clothes on even in the summer
Not that you care. You lost me, and got her
My lips are frozen, there’s no lights on in my head
And from time, to time i wonder if i am already dead

Yet, you bask in my misery, and bathe in my tears
You’ll tell anyone you used me, anyone with ears
And by my neck i’m bound to you, a chain around my throat
Pulled like a bitch on a leash naked with no coat.
While you’re sound a sleep next to her
I sit up thinking about how we were.
Because when the moon is high, and current strong
I sit up thinking of everything i’ve done wrong

If i changed my hair, and tact my eyes
If i plumped my lips, and had smaller thighs.
If I was thick in all of the “right” place
And maybe if I let you run to home base.
If I wore more makeup, and wore less clothes
Maybe you still be here, and holding me close

But for now i must put you in a box, and go
Slap a smile on my face, so that no one will know
Wipe my tears, and shut the door.
Pick myself up off of the floor
Put my face on, and cover the scars
And put a guard around my heart.
Thru these many years one thing remains true
that thru these many years i will always miss you


~Gabriella Santiago