“Psalm of Life” Parody – Psalm of A Football Life

Tell me not, on hot summer days

It feels 100 degrees

For the blazing rays and salty glaze

Friday nights are only a tease


The game is hard the game is rough

And playoffs are in our sight

It’s very physical you better be tough

So strap your helmet real tight


It defines strong and punishes the weak

Because someone will ruin your day

You’ll get hit so hard you’ll go to sleep

You better get ready to play


My stomach turns, and my hands are shaky

I believe I’m going to vomit

When I reach the field as the safety

It’s a great day to be a comet

Michael Brown

Psalm of Football

Tell me not, in scorching hot heat,

Life gets hard when summer workouts start.

Even after a season of a lot of defeat,

It hurts to smell after the raunchiest farts.


Football is fun, football is great,

Millersville camp is a terrible thing.

Football creates the person giving good traits,

We all work to get some bling.


7 on 7s can be fun,

I would rather be asleep.

After practice we run,

Everyday it gets us better, and on our feet.


Football takes time, and a lot of dedication,

Not everyone is fit for this sport.

Still like every team, this is Comet Nation,

Most people do not want to put in the effort.

Adam Presnell

Best Grad Party Ever

     It’s a spectacular day for my older cousin Mikal, who received a football scholarship to Robert Morris College. We’re cutting into an abnormally shaped cake that could easily feed one hundred fifty people.The weirdly shaped cake had fudge chocolate shavings with a caramelized icing that smoothly melted in my mouths of the gathered supporters. It was going on about 9:30 at night and the party was just getting started as the DJ continued to play songs of R Kelly and Usher. The smooth afternoon continued as both friends and family gathered on the dance floor to groove to the DJ’s music on the clustered indoor venue which stenched of women’s perfume and cologne with the great smelling of foods of downtown Pittsburgh. Night quickly ended; as family members gave their last congratulations to their star struck Mikal, and friends and family left tired and wholesome with the doors closed behind them.

—Nigel Mason