Skyrim Retirement Letter

From all the hours were have spent together

Exploring a world known to many others

From all the draugers we have encountered

In the Berkshires we’ve spelunked

All the Nord armor we have collected

On our quest to Daedric

Finding all the Dragon priests

And collecting their masks

Killing dragons

To acquire stronger shouts

The merchants we’ve bought from

And cities we are thanes in

While we leveled up our speech, destruction, and alchemy

It was you Dragonborn

Who made the land of Skyrim

Oh so special


My Children’s 6 Word Memoirs to Me at My Funeral.

He was a spirit lifter father.


He taught me the good deeds.


He never let you down ever.


He was there when needed most.


Through the ups and downs times.


His name was Ty Jacob Erisman.


The best father for four children.


He changed all of our lives greatly.


Goodbye old man who loved us.


We will love and miss you.


Forever and ever and ever eternity.


From the Erisman kids.

~Ty Erisman

She Moved On

She moved on.

But sometimes the sky still looks like his eyes.

She moved on

But she kept every possession that had any connection to him.

She moved on

But when she comes across that flannel that he left behind she’ll put it on so it’s like he’s holding her again.

She moved on

But the fact that the same flannel has almost lost every last trace of him, makes her chest feel heavier for a while.

She moved on

But on lonely nights she’ll sleep in his old t-shirt he gave her when she was his.

She moved on

But there’s moments so often where something happens or is said that reminds her of him and a memory she loved, sometimes wishing she could relive it even just for a moment…


My Dear Ethiopia

Since the day I saw you

I have loved you,

Your culture and rich tradition

I bowed to.

You have carried me with your love,

From day one to eleven, my beloved;

“Mother Ethiopia” I called you,

Home of Lucy, and animals like Kangaroo

Day by day you get more beautiful,

Just like your people and view.

I will see you soon,

That I promise you;

But till that day, I will say,

Mother Ethiopia, My Ethiopia I love you.


Dear Grandpa

Dear Grandpa,

I love you.

Playing and coloring at your house

I loved being with you, dad didn’t

The fighting I heard

Didn’t change my love for you

The things mom said about you

Didn’t change my love for you.


Seeing the smile on your face

While taking pictures with us opening gifts

The smile you had

In the pictures with us

Then you weren’t in them

No beautiful smile to brighten my day

Going into the hospital

For the last time

Didn’t realize this heart attack

Would be the last

I will love you forever

I will always remember your smile

And everything you did for me

I’ll see you again someday.




It’s All The Same

Guide the hand to a new fate,

And do not tell him of what you truly are,

Just smile at him, looking,

Away, from his face.


Listen to the voice that came from the hate,

And do not help him, only give him a taste,

Of who you desire, par,

Himself, neglected by you.


Guide his smile, to truly; who looks,

Yet, contrive, he is yours,

And he undermines by your fascination; benign,

To taste, the hand upon your face.


Simply untrue, undeserving, undesirable.

Away, from himself, neglect the hate,

Do not tell; the fate, so new; your heart

Won’t ever break.


Listen to the lies, you’re making up; lies.

Of given is the par, undermine who looks,

Telling not of a soul, to be under mine,

Is what of yours?


Guide to fascinate, to lay upon, undeserving of,

Your face, benign, you truly know,

Who you, are; not to be himself, he loves. He loves.

Simply, who he truly, undermines,

Who of what is your soul, not to understand,

Look now away, from yourself, smile,

Neglect the lies, not to love; not to hate.


Listen to the facade, voice, inside,

You won’t ever misapprehend,

Lies won’t ever break,

–Ever what is, undesirable won’t, how do you?


Guide to help him, do not,

Give to contrive to taste to know,

To understand your soul,

Suffice to desire the hate.


Simply, himself; as fate, smiles,

Fascinate the facade, obey,

Look, you’re mine, under love will never



Guide to what, he is not, true, you; to not stand,

Under; the hate, helps him; you

Do not, under what, stand upon the hand,

Fate lies at your, face.


Listen, you’re who you love, he loves,

The benign tastes the, heart; obeys the soul;

Contrive to suffice the untrue, neglect

–What once was the hand of fate.


Simply par, not mine, understand him,

Tell not the truth, of you are, who looks?

Fascinate the soul, he loves, but he hates. He hates, you.

Guide: to understand what it takes,

To stay awake, away, from the fate,

Breaking the heart; Undermining distaste, in himself,

Truly, doesn’t tell him you’re fascinated; the facade.


Simply: how he looks at your face,

Suffice the hate, desire the hate, you know

He will never neglect your lies, remained untrue,

Taking his hand, to the voice inside.


Listen: the soul gives into for what?

Contrive, you won’t ever misapprehend,

To par his smile, to you, and only you,

He loved you; you, to break his heart.


Look, it’s all the same.



i am much like a lamp; hollowed out with a man living inside me. though, if you rub my belly you won’t find a genie, no, you’ll find an overcast of daddy issues and just the right amount of self deprecating jokes. you won’t find a genie,
but you will find a tidal wave of suppressed memories, but don’t worry you can grab onto a piece of my broken heart and ride it out. veins pumped to the brim with self hatred. lungs filled with a air of those who disarmed my words; breathing in and out their toxicities.


Where I’m From

I am from the hourglass, from time

I am from the earth, Mysterious; foreign

I am from the thorn, the weed of the ground

I am from the chaos, the competition of life

From Mary to Joseph from God

I am from the liars, the cheaters

I’m from sayings, “life doesn’t owe you anything”

I’m from a belief to “trust no one”

I am from behind the curtain in the temple

From the corner of the sanctuary

I am from darkness, from the bitterness

From dates and prunes

I’m from the alcoholics and the drug addicts, the swindlers

I’m from the forgotten memory of a time of serenity

I’m from hatred, from the thoughts of suicide that burn in the mind

I’m from the haunted house, I am the thoughts of the ghosts

I’m from the father that left, the mother that abused

I am from the arguments and the lies

I am a dark stormy sea

Desperately trying to drown her crew

I am from the rain, the quells

I am from all things people avoid

But I am still me.



Love is not isolation from society because “that’s your person.”

Love is not expecting favors.

Love is not giving your all to get nothing in return.

Love is not receiving someone’s all and giving nothing in return.

Love is not endless jealousy and insecurity.

Love is not constant happiness followed by no pain.

Love is not an “I love you” text after disrespect

Love is knowing.

Love is respecting.

Love is appreciating.

Love is silence.

Love is trust.

Love is not knowing what to expect.

Love is a smile at the thought.


From a Storm Grew a Rose

Trees and flowers dancing in the wind, leaves blown away

Sun hidden behind clouds and shining within

What a lovely day

Bees buzzing, birds chirping, singing their enchanting song

Listening to the sound of nature, I can do it all day long


Rain trickling down the window and thunder filling the air

Behind dark cloud I didn’t know  

The sun still shone back there

As lightening strikes I stand steadfast and start to feel bliss

I remember that after this storm something will grow from this


Through each day comes different feelings

They all work together to make

The flowers that grow, the insects below, the fruit that we take

So even though the storm is raging and you just want it to go

The sun nourishes, the storm waters so a seedling to blossom and grow


corrupted conscience.

head throbs
heart pounds
as your voice chases me around
running me out of my own body
telling me i’m not quite good enough
if i would only wear more makeup and brush my hair once in awhile

i could be pretty
but i could use some work
my waist slims but so does my confidence
i beg myself to stop giving in to your voice
but it chases me into the darkness
i’ve run so far away from my body now that i can’t find a way back in
your voice is home now and i wait for your approval
i wait to be good enough
i wait for my head to stop throbbing
i wait for my heart to stop beating


Parte del Alma Mía

Madre, parte del alma mía

La amiga intimísima

La maestra más sabia

Me has enseñado todo lo que yo conozco.


Eres una torre alta y fuerte

Descansas en un fundamento sólido

Tu paciencia y fe son faros

Luces que me advierten.


Abuela, parte del alma mía

La artista más diestra

La cocinera más fantástica

Tu cultura me crió.


Eres un libro de cuentos

Tus talentos sobrepasan que tú comprendes

Cada día me sorprendes

Con la fuente de experiencias que tú tienes.


Queridas mujeres, partes del alma mía

Me hicieron quien yo soy hoy en día

Cuando ambas hayan pasado

Ustedes estarán en mi alma todavía.


Summer of 2017

You were a candy coated sin, a wickedness ignored,
A rose bush in a garden, and yet I dismissed the thornes,
The kiss of life, with the hands of death
Who awakened the heart inside my very chest
You were a walk in wonderland on calm spring morning
And candy house used for luring
But the clock must strike midnight, even Alice must grow
And the warm spring changes to a cold, bloody snow
So what goes on that you don’t know?
What goes on since you had to go

My hair falls out, i lay there dead on the floor
I bang my head on the cold beige walls, and scream at the breaking glass door
I’m stripped of my clothes like i was stripped of my pride,
Yes, this is what goes on since you left me to die.
It’s cold with no clothes on even in the summer
Not that you care. You lost me, and got her
My lips are frozen, there’s no lights on in my head
And from time, to time i wonder if i am already dead

Yet, you bask in my misery, and bathe in my tears
You’ll tell anyone you used me, anyone with ears
And by my neck i’m bound to you, a chain around my throat
Pulled like a bitch on a leash naked with no coat.
While you’re sound a sleep next to her
I sit up thinking about how we were.
Because when the moon is high, and current strong
I sit up thinking of everything i’ve done wrong

If i changed my hair, and tact my eyes
If i plumped my lips, and had smaller thighs.
If I was thick in all of the “right” place
And maybe if I let you run to home base.
If I wore more makeup, and wore less clothes
Maybe you still be here, and holding me close

But for now i must put you in a box, and go
Slap a smile on my face, so that no one will know
Wipe my tears, and shut the door.
Pick myself up off of the floor
Put my face on, and cover the scars
And put a guard around my heart.
Thru these many years one thing remains true
that thru these many years i will always miss you


~Gabriella Santiago 


it’s seeping

into my pores

and i hate the way

people stick to my


i almost compared

the hair i pulled out

in the shower,

to what my mother

found on her pillow,

but she lost more of

herself than i have

i’m picking at my nails,

it’s the only way

i’ll forget about all the

people that forgot

to stay,

or i’ll dream about

telling him that

fire extinguishers

won’t burn down the

world and that he wakes

up the next morning,

but instead only

the people he left do

and i keep on trying

to drown my memories

of ghosts that still


its seeping

into my pores

and my hair is

tangled with broken


my teeth are

falling out

in time with

the songs i use

to fill the space

silence leaves

smoke fills my lungs

and i still haven’t learned

how not to cough up

pieces of the past

that get stuck in

the drain i tried

to clean with vodka,

that night he tried

to put out flames,

and be the hero,

when he was the only one


I Thought

I once thought I knew about love,

A mystic, mysterious trance
I always thought when one was in love,
there was nothing but romance
I thought love could never hurt you
and would always make you strong
But after I fell in love with you
all I thought was wrong
I thought you would always be there
anytime I was in need
But you only needed me
when you needed a deed
I waited for your calls, your text, your snaps, your affection
But night after night after night after night
all I felt was rejection
I did all I could think of
to make you see how I felt
I did everything you asked of me
I played the cards I was dealt
I thought things would change
but then you told me how you really felt
and that left the biggest welt
I thought all these things about love
were true and lovely and pure
But you took all I thought about love
prevented me from moving forward
Now I think that love is dead
and I am not worth the time
for anyone else to be with me
I took your actions as a sign
I wanted you to be the one
I would spend the rest of my life with
I think that all I thought once
is a memory I will truly miss.
-Amber Jordan


Modern Heartbreak

Modern heartbreak is “read at 9:13 p.m.” when its 9:40. It’s unliked photos, it’s  blocking and unblocking and blocking and unblocking. Modern heartbreak is sick with being watched, it’s breakup, playing out on twitter feeds, it’s unfollowed unfollowed unfollowed. It’s a broken jaw, its screenshotted photos that shouldn’t have been saved, it’s screenshotted texts meant for only one person, it’s seeing your ex lover with their new one, watching their lives playout like yours didn’t, it’s phones thrown into bedroom walls when their profile changes from single to in a relationship. It’s snapchat stories to make that one person jealous because it feels like without them you’re nothing, it’s that one story expiring before they see it because they don’t give a damn about you now and you know it, it’s deleting their contact info but wanting it tattooed on the back of your hand in case you ever want to call, it’s messy because everyone sees it and it never goes away.


Psalm of a Disobedient Child

Another weekend, another fight

The constant bickering makes me ill

A dying union, a flower with blight

I want to scream; a suffering shrill


Hallow be my name, you demand

Can’t I just be free?

It’s time I finally make the stand

It doesn’t matter how I beg and plea


Only a few more months, I’ll be gone

Never could I match your grace

My heart has been quartered and drawn

I’m sorry to desert you in this hateful place


You say I disgust you, I don’t hold blame

Tride and true, a Rock n’ Roll rebel

I refuse to hold my head in shame

It’s clear that you’ll never be able to level


It breaks my soul that I have to go

I’m certain that you’ll grieve

I hope that Mom and Dad will know

That it wasn’t my choice to leave


Who I am

It takes a very strong person

to turn pain into passion

and sorrow into success.

I am going to tell you who I am.

Who you pushed out of your life.

I am going to tell you who I was before you,

who I was with you,

and who I am now.

After you made my heart shake

like a raindrop stuck to a window

on a windy day.


I am the shimmer

reflecting a lonely light on a dark pond.

I am the feeling you get when you plunge your hands into ice cold water,

and I am the rain droplets that fall on the back of your neck.

I am the slap of fresh air when you step outside on a November morning.


You claim you don’t miss me.

And you claim you no longer love me.

And you, my dear, are wrong.

Continue reading

Words Are Just Words

What Is love

Love Is hard

She was my love

She loved me so

From there to here

Is where I go

So little she said

So little I knew

I listened to her

She listened to me

Night after night

It was like a dream

I kissed her once

And that was It

I begged for mercy

I said three words

5 minutes later

She still didn’t care

Tried my hardest

Not to mess up

She smiles then looks

To only meet my lips

I thought and thought

Not sure what to do

So I got on one knee

And she said I do

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